RLT

I have devised a new alternative therapy that I will be launching in the next few days. I call it Rainbow Light Therapy(RLT).

I don't have a site for it yet but there's already a blog. 

Swan Lake Waltz - Tchaikovsky

Edward Elgar - Nimrod

It's a rainy day here in Athens. Quite windy as well. No better time to listen to some classical music.

Fits well with my mood too as I am about to start packing.






P.S: I remember dedicating this piece to my ex once. He was not impressed. I was stunned at the time. Stunned and incredibly saddened. Oh well, nevermind. Still gorgeous music + video!

What future?

I haven't bought my ticket yet but will most probably be leaving as soon as I have taken care of some loose ends. Probably by the end of the week. Or even before that.

I 'm hoping to be away for 10-15 days. Then... who knows!

If there is one thing I have accepted about my life is that plans far-ahead into the future just don't work.

Besides, what future? Ain't Time the greatest illusion?

:)

When I first identified lilac as my favorite color, about 13 years ago, there was not much of it around. It was considered a "difficult" color.

Now, it's like everywhere!

Someone up there must have heard my pleas. (Thank you!)


Over the weekend I bought a lilac suitcase.


Now I 'm all set for my lilac adventure! :p

When was the last time?

When was the last time you woke up and everything smelled brand new & screaming with Joy?

The most erotic language in the world...

No, c' est pas le français; désolée.



So here's a new blog for all those times that I feel like expressing myself in my native language which I adore.

So In The Mood

So I 'm selling my house...

... as I 've mentioned before...

Yesterday, I was on the phone to an estate agent to whom I 've assigned the sale. We were talking about all sorts of details when he mentioned the terrible state the market is in. I said I know. He said it would be good to be willing to negotiate the price. I said of course.

Then as soon as I put down the receiver, I thought "What the *, "I 've already lowered the price THREE TIMES in the last 12 months. I need to pay off my mortgage with the money I make off the sale, what's gonna be left?!?! "

I took a few deep breaths and contemplated the situation. Then I thought to myself "Of course I will negotiate. I 'm starting now: I am putting the price up by 100,000 to begin with and then each time someone asks for a better price, I will be increasing it by 10,000. Cause that's the way I understand "better price."!



Enough with the bullshit.

In other news...

I got yet another hug a couple of days ago. Funny how it happened... I was out for a walk around Athens when this guy who was walking in front of me turned around and noticed me. Didn't think much of it at first. Then I started walking faster and he followed behind. Again I didn't think much of it, I just thought we were most probably going in the same direction. A few minutes later, he catches up with me and said: "Are you OK? I sense a bit of stress in your system." I smiled and said I 'm OK. And yeah, maybe a bit stressed out but hey, who isn't these days? I 'm no Dalai Lama. "Would you like some company?" he asked. I thought no harm in walking together so I gave him a nod to indicate we could walk down the street together. And so we did. In the end, we walked all the way to Plaka and back. He told me lots about his life, I too shared some stuff. But what was most amazing was that we were on the same wavelength spiritually. He understood all those spiritual realities I often talk about but few catch on.

Before we parted he said "I think you could use a hug, let me give you one." I let him. It was sweet.

I was so glad for that impromptu meeting of minds. It doesn't happen every day. It gave me a bit of hope about the human race. I was thinking again that I must have many kindred spirits in this world, it is just a matter of connecting with them. But of course, it is most rewarding when it happens in such a way. Like the Universe conspires and makes it happen.

Most interesting III

Obviously, the counter argument to my line of thinking is "But some people cannot communicate at all unless they take their medication."


Not true. They can but they don't know how to do so effectively. That can lead to volcanic eruptions. But hey, have you tried to be present during such an incident with someone you know/love? Have you tried to breathe through it?

There are all sorts of techniques out there and as I am writing this, I still haven't mastered them myself. I still erupt when faced with unacceptable, preposterous situations. But at least I don't run away from them. I am not scared of feelings. I confront them. Even though I grew up in a family where everybody else was hiding from them & shut them out.

Most interesting II

And the problem is such people are the majority these days. Wherever I go, wherever I look, everybody seems to be on something...


But as someone I was talking to the other day said very astutely "Someday they will run out of Prozac. And then... Oh my..."


I find it so strange that so many people miss this point: Feelings are there for a reason. Medicating them doesn't serve you in the long run. The body will react in some way or another.


What's more, it screws up communication between people and ultimately relationships. Seriously, how can you connect in an authentic way with someone who is on drugs- prescribed or otherwise?

Most interesting

I find it extremely interesting when people who have a bunch of addictions & psychiatric conditions seem to think they have more clarity on things than someone who gets by(not perfectly but still) without all that. Not even caffeine!

Oxymoron & then some...

String Theory

Wish I could get Sissy, the artist with whom I worked to produce this, to draw a new haircut for the guy. This is too much. And just plain wrong. Even at the time, back in 2008, I thought so but we were working on so many drawings at once and we had a deadline to get them ready for the site. Somehow the last minute change I wanted here was forgotten.

Now Sissy has given up on her artistry and is living somewhere in the countryside. New life, she said, and drawing does not appeal anymore.

At some point, I 'll find someone else and rework the entire thing. Well, the guy I mean.

I don't agree with everything you say but yeah, let's misbehave

You can tell at a glance

Even educated fleas do it

Here's a question

A little intro first: I happen to believe in reincarnation. I cannot prove it to be true, obviously, but so far no one out there has disproved it and until someone does, I will continue to believe it to be the way Life works. 

So, suppose Hitler reincarnated as a sweet boy in a different part of the world, let's say in sunny California. Suppose he is a cute and highly intelligent 3 year old that will be celebrating his fourth birthday next month.

How would you feel about that child knowing who he had been last time round? 

 

Ticket to ride- A dilemma

It's been six months since I moved in with my parents again. I was hoping to have moved out by September but it was such a busy month for me, I decided to give precedence to all my other plans about my new direction in Life. Plus this Dimension Next project that I gave birth to inside my head three weeks ago.

So now, there are three things that need my undivided attention:

1. My Hospitality Management online course. I started it in late August and with everything happening, I 've been falling behind schedule.

2. My business plan for my new Calliope Iris company, a company with a much greater scope than the one I created in 2008. Is this the right time to be focusing on a fresh start in business terms while living in Greece? Well, I cannot remain stagnant. I have to be creative. And no matter what is going on in financial & political terms, I still love my country so incredibly much. If God gave me such a creative mind and if He/She placed me in Greece, there must be a reason for it. Because I did try my luck abroad and it didn't work out. Now I would have to be paid to even consider leaving Greece. 

However, I do realize it might not be the right time to embark on such an ambitious business activity. OK, then there must be something else I 'm supposed to be doing. I did explore the idea of going out and finding a job but it didn't lead anywhere. I have to be honest, I didn't mind that much, if at all. As I was saying the other day on Google +, there must be a gene I 'm missing because I cannot work for others. I have to be in charge of my own creative vision & ideas. 

So while I cannot reconsile with the notion of a 9-5 job, I could accept that I may need to be doing something else creatively than this new company I 'm designing now.

What else could that be? Not sure...

3. My Dimension Next project. OK, that's an incredibly ambitious project and it could not happen unless the right team of people come together. So far, I 've met a few who show enthusiasm, and a couple of them I feel very comfortable working with. But again, we need to work around our schedules and see if we can make enough time to start now or if we just need to keep the entire thing at the back of our heads and make it happen in the future. It is something I am thinking long and hard about. 

In the meantime, I 've been feeling the need for a holiday. I cannot afford to go away for too long but I have saved enough money the past three months to be able to spend a couple of weeks away, maybe a bit more. 

So this is what I 'm focusing on now. I wish I could leave this week but my parents are freaking out telling me I cannot go anywhere before I get my strength back. OK, they do have a point, my weight is rather low and I do feel somewhat weak at times. I 'm doing my best to eat in a wholesome way but sometimes Life gets too much and I get in an anorexic mood. 

I 'm planning to spend the next few days devising a plan. A food/recovery plan. 

At the same time, in terms of my destination of choice, I 'm in a dilemma. There are two places I 'm thinking of going to and I can't decide which one! Don't you just hate when that happens??? I most certainly do!!!  

Endless Joy

We all carry ourselves with us wherever we go. We take along our wounds and bruises, our joys & sorrows. When we enter into a new relationship/friendship, if it is something deep and powerful, we tend to open up ourselves to the other person in ways that bring up all our inner landscape, our deepest longings and most painful corners.

There is no point in fighting who we are or who the other person is. Maybe that is the one lesson that is hardest to learn.

In my experience so far, I realize some things are way too important for me. And given all the pain and aggravation that I went through with my ex, I now know certain longings are even greater.

I don't know how this sounds and at the end of the day, it doesn't matter because it is what is is: In my next relationship, there is no way I could ever be with a man again that makes me feel less than his first priority in life. I need to feel I 'm No1. It's something I need in order to heal a deep-seated wound inside of me. It is also something I always offer when I 'm in love. I too give priority to the person I choose to be with.

I need to feel if I ever need him, he will be there for me, no matter what.

I  need to know I can spend my Christmases with him and I won't be abandoned because there is a child somewhere that he believes needs him more.

I need to feel we share the same Vision in Life, same value system.

I long for us to create a home together from scratch. And work together on ambitious projects as a team, a team that takes on the world.

I want him to come into the relationship with no commitments that bind him to the past.

And so much more...


Different people have different needs and there is no point in debating this stuff. You just embrace each others' needs and desires and do your utmost to fulfil them or there is no point in being together. No point in fighting over it.

I know there are exceptions out there. Some people do come into a new relationship with a heavy past and somehow they still make it work. They can still be wholly available and wholly devoted to the new person in their lives by putting in order their affairs from the past- either before meeting them or as soon as they meet that special person.

Yes, that does happen occasionally. In such circumstances, who knows, it is within the realm of possibility that I could share my life with someone who' d been married before or even had a child.

It is all so very simple, how on Earth do we end up making it so hard on ourselves? We are  all looking for someone to be happy with. We are all just longing for Endless Joy. It is a our birth right.

A glorious possibility

There is someone throwing a party at the bar next door(downstairs) from my parents' apartment and the music is so loud I can't sleep.

That's OK. I slept for a bit early in the evening. That's how exhausted I was. But overall it's been a good day. I did some retail therapy and I met someone for coffee to discuss my Dimension Next project again.

The meeting was very fruitful, it gave me yet another interesting perspective on the entire project. The retail therapy was even more so.

I don't care what analysts have to say on the subject, retail therapy does wonders. Little wonders but still wonders. I left the shoe shop with a sense of elation. Say whatever you what about Marilyn Monroe but she did leave us some good quotes. She once said "Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world." SOOO true! A pair of stilettos and I 'm back on top of the world, in more ways than one. Well, I didn't buy stilettos this time but just saying... In fact, I have a couple of pairs of Wow stilettos I wish I could wear soon. I just don't know where. Somewhere.

In the past, I would wear high heels everyday & everywhere. Then a couple of years ago, I met this guy, my ex. With him, we took to the streets around Syntagma square during riots and walked the backstreets of Athens for miles & miles and so all of a sudden, I found myself buying flats. And somehow I got hooked. On the flats. Who would 've thought...

Eventually, the relationship ended but I still continued to wear my ballerinas. It's only now that I 'm getting back to feeling like a Stilletto Queen again. Moving on finally? Well, I guess it was long overdue. In fact, these past few days helped a lot in that respect.

My relationship with my ex ended officially 10 months ago but since then, even though he's been living in Germany, we' d been back in touch countless times. And each time our communication was... Well, let's just say we did not exactly talk about the weather. OK, OK, sometimes we did refer to it.

This time though it was different. I 'm not sure who got in touch first. I sent him an email to which he never replied yet a few days later he added me on Google +. When we did talk eventually he said he hadn't read that email. So he just felt like adding me as a way of getting in touch or did he read my email and didn't want to admit to it? Who knows.

The fact of the matter is what he shared with me hurt me deeply. I got sad, I cried, I got angry, I got disillusioned. A rollercoaster of very intense feeling that spanned four days. I told him that given the situation he was describing I could not possibly continue to be in touch. I told him calmly. Then I got furious thinking back to all the things he 'd said, all the promises of his undying love for me... I sent him a particularly angry text on Friday night. I hated him so much. But then a day later I emailed him a more subdued goodbye.

Now I feel like a death knell has finally been put to that entire period of my life, a period that spanned almost two years.

I cried a lot but now I 'm feeling better. I even got that free hug I was longing for. I went out with a new acquaintance over the weekend and he brought along a friend of his. This friend sensed the deep sense of sorrow that I was feeling and  even though we knew each other only a couple of hours, he gave me a warm hug that was so incredibly healing. Since that moment, I felt much calmer, even hopeful. I don't hate my ex anymore. In fact, I 'm now focusing on some words he said in those brief moments we reconnected last week. He told me I should just move on. He said I was beautiful, smart & sexy and I should enjoy life, without babies and bullshit. That last part startled me because he had always defended his choice to have a child while married years ago. I was always the one who said babies is not something I long for. Did he finally come to understand that part of me? Perhaps.

I also thought back to something else. When I first met my ex, I was going through such a rough time emotionally. I had just returned to Athens from Paris where things hadn't worked out for me and my wings were clipped yet again. I felt disillusioned about Life and Love. I had given up on the idea of falling in love again. And yet it happened. I fell in love with my ex and it was so incredibly powerful.

Now I 'm thinking that was probably his greatest gift to me. He proved to me that Life goes on and Love comes to find you when you least expect it. So I choose to keep that in my heart.

Life goes on and falling in Love again is still a glorious possibility.

Rosalind

Back in 2008, I was working on a project called La Double Vie De Rosalind. It involved illustrations and writing the script for a short film which I was planning to fund/produce myself. I had even found my director & crew.

As I was working on that script, I realized there was so much more I wished to express through this story. So I abandoned the short film idea and concentrated on coming up with a script for a feature length movie.

But then, Lehman Brothers collapsed, all hell broke loose and I had to concentrate on the difficult financial reality that was appearing before me. And that was nothing compared to the avalanche that engulfed Greece in 2010.

So the project was shelved but never forgotten.

The script was never completed on paper but in my head, I kept writing. At some point, I want to commit myself to follow it through. At least, if I have the full story, even if I never find the money to shoot the movie, I can always concentrate on producing many illustrations. That's always great fun for me.

Living

I turned this blog to Private the other day cause I wanted to stay away from everyone. Now I 'm feeling that even though I need a holiday and spending as much time as possible in peaceful surroundings while I 'm working on rebalancing my entire system, I would like to have this blog to post sometimes. I hate overexposure, be it online or offline, but a bit of online self-expression now and then is a good thing. Plus this is the blog where I 'm planning to be posting updates on my creative endeavors.



Now I want to concentrate on living. Sometimes I forget.

41.6

That's my weight currently in kilos. Sometimes it goes up to 42, sometimes down to 41.3.

It's low and now that the weather is getting somewhat colder, I feel like I may need some extra help with that.

I don't want to put on weight. A few people are putting pressure on me about it and it can be frustrating.

I just need some extra strength to get me through the winter.

Meditation is helping but I need that extra bit something. It's called a hug.*





*the free, no-strings-attached kind.

Dimension Next II

In the meantime, I have been contacted by 34-35 people about my Dimension Next Project.

It's really funny, when people ask me what it is all about, I say to them: "Well, it's about a Diamond City, a flying saucer and a journey, billion light years away".

No, they are not laughing when I tell them. Why should they? Are you laughing?

OK, laugh.

I will have the last laugh.

Magical

Wish I had a Unicorn friend to take me on a magical ride all around the world. 

Verity Leighton

Verity is one of my new illustration projects. She's a character from 2009 who initially started out as a heroine in a novel I was working on. But I got writer's block and stopped.

 Still, she was coming and going inside my head for a long time.

Last month, she started resurfacing again. At that point, I got in touch with an old collaborator of mine and we began work on some new drawings/illustrations.


I will be posting the first one here in the next few weeks.

Alexandria

Elise - En Pointe Series

Melissa - White Satin Series

Once Upon A Time

Nikola Tesla